Confession: I'm in Love

I know - it's been quite a long time since I've done this. Hopefully I'm not too rusty.

I've been mulling over this post for a few months now and kept thinking that I'd hold off a bit longer to make sure I still felt the same. For what reason, I don't know. This is supposed to be a place I share my current thoughts and feelings and I decided it's finally time to spill it.

Now, at this point you're probably thinking - OMG SHE MET SOMEONE!! A CUTE EUROPEAN MAYBE?? Well, so sorry to disappoint you, but my love affair is with London. This amazing and beautiful city I've gotten the chance to call home for 8 months (and counting) has swept me off my feet and I've gone head over heels.

When I decided to make this big step nearly 2 years ago (just thinking about that is insane!), I thought that spending a year abroad would be so fun and I'd get to be a kid again exploring a new city and just having the time of my life. Don't get me wrong, it's definitely been all of that and more, but I have also learned more than I could have ever fathomed.

Grad school has taught me more than I ever thought there was to know about HR and independent learning and I'm so grateful for that. With that said, I have to say that the biggest things I have learned haven't come from my classes or my professors (sorry, guys!), but from the people I've met and the experiences I've had. I'm sure this post is something that most people who study abroad or live outside their home country write or think about at a certain point in their journey, but I couldn't help but get it all out of me. I need to share the things that I've found so near and dear to me in what feels like the first leg of a long, long race to find out where my life will lead.

People: 
When I moved here, I didn't know anyone. I had left all of my friends and family and familiarity back home to start fresh. I jumped in head first, as most extroverts would do, and was quick to befriend just about anyone I met. Because of this, I've met some amazing people from all over the world who have opened my eyes to the way things are outside of my little bubble. Not only have I met people who are doing the same thing I am, but people who are leaving their home countries for reasons that we couldn't even imagine to better their lives in a place that will care for them. I had not expected this to hit me so hard.

Pubs: 
Before coming to London, "going out" for a drink meant planning something out with friends, maybe getting dressed up a bit, and either going to a local dive bar or a trendy bar/club in the West Loop. Pub culture here is so different and so so so much better. There are so many and each one feels just slightly different than the last. You can just pop in on any day of the week, to just about any pub, and you'll find friendly faces waiting to have a chat.

I've learned that beer doesn't need to be ice cold (I know!) and that a pint with friends can be the best end to just about any day. No room inside? No problem. Just grab your glass and pull up a patch of sidewalk because even if they don't have outdoor seating, they don't mind if you make your own. Oh, and the best part? Most pubs close at 11pm, so the grandma in me gets to go home at a reasonable hour without feeling bad!

Language: 
You think that because we all speak English, we all speak the same language, right? Guess again! I cannot tell you how many "British" words I have learned since being here. I feel like I learn something new every week and have definitely caught myself saying things like the Brits do more and more often. "Do we have any more bin bags?" WHO AM I?

Not only have I learned lots of British words and phrases, but I've also learned that we really take English for granted growing up in the States. I have met people from all over Europe and Asia, as well as many other places, and the biggest culture shock that hit me a few weeks into being here was that they HAD to speak English to me, but I couldn't speak their language to them. How unfair is that? I felt very guilty about it at first, but realized that being openminded and upfront about it makes everything better. I thought I was brave coming here, but man, can you imagine coming to a country far away from home where you don't know anyone and you don't even really speak the language?

The stuff that matters: 
This is plain and simple. When you move 3000 miles away from your friends and family, journey into a whole new city with all new people and a different way of doing things, you definitely learn what you hold most important to you. I've learned who I can count on, what my relationships mean, and what type of person I want to be to those around me.

I struggle with the idea that I have to be "the best" at what I do; get the highest grade, be perfect in keeping up with things, live up to some imperfect standard that I hold for myself at anything I try. I've always had a tough time moving past this, and I still do, but I think what I've learned in recent weeks is that instead of being "the best" at what I do, I should try to be "the best" me that I can be for those around me. Living up to be my best self in all of these situations. If my best self isn't always enough, that's okay because I've been genuine. In essence: no one can be a better you than you.  

It's mid-May and I'm about to take my last two finals of my degree. Over the summer I'll be collecting data and writing my dissertation and management report for my master's and certification courses and by this time in 4 months, I'll be able to cross Master's Degree off my bucket list.

In the next two weeks I'll be moving into a flat (there's another one I use constantly!) with some awesome British flatmates, starting an exciting chapter in my work experience, and moving towards the final few months of my time here. I'm not sure what will happen come the end of the year, but I can say with absolute confidence and no regrets that this year has been the best experience of my life so far.

I Survived: Exams

I think I've finally fully recovered from my first round of grad school exams. I can now return to both society and my human life.

You think those exams you took in undergrad were tough? Stressful? Anxiety inducing? They were. So now take those and multiply them by about 100000 and you'll get a sense of how my exams were.

Last week feels like it was yesterday and an eternity ago all at the same time. For the weeks leading up to them I was studying and worrying and thinking, "I'm worried, but I'll be fine". The two weeks before I basically lived in the library and became all too intimate with the woman who cleaned the private study rooms. I also somehow went a whole month without wearing real pants. Separate accomplishment.

So as to not make this post insanely long, I've devised a list to help me properly describe what taking master's exams is like here in London. Now, I'm not sure if it's like this other places in Europe or if King's enjoys a specific type of torture, but my experience has been scarring.

The Basics: 4 exams in 5 days on topics so vague you might not even recognize them as topics. See: Management.

Location: Kensington-Olympia Conference Center

Travel Time to Location: 1-3 hours, depending on how well you understand what the tube is doing. LOLOLOLOL

Things you can bring: Nothing. They barely allow people to actually be there.

Procedure: Mostly shuffling around in a giant conference center with 2000 other anxious people and not enough bathrooms until you get to sit in a giant room at a very wobbly t.v. tray in a plastic folding chair.

Governing Forces: Invigilators. They have clipboards and yellow traffic vests. Do. Not. Mess. With. Them.

Announcer: God. I call him this because he sets the rules, the tone, and is a bodiless being that speaks constantly.

Amenities: Areas of the floor to throw your coat. Also, partially working bathrooms. Sometimes.

Population: 2000 people attempting not to have uncontrolled bodily functions happen due to nerves.

Now, I may be making this sound intimidating. Good! I'm getting my point across! But really, on the way there the first day I was with my friend and fellow classmate and she commented on how quiet I was. I responded saying that I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, instead of words, it would be vomit. Quite an image I've painted for your there, huh?

These exams were absolutely the hardest most difficult and challenging thing I've ever done. I've never studied more and felt less sure about anything in my life before. You cover 3 months worth of material in class and then have to guess what the best topics would be to study. All of the exams are essay questions and you do not know what is actually on the exam until you're sitting in your seat and God tells you that you can begin and flip over the paper.

The essays are supposed to be well thought out, answer the question, and develop conclusions based on what you know. They also expect the essay to be structured well and you must cite references. Yes it's not enough that you crammed more information about Agency Theory and cultural and institutional issues relating to globalization into your brain than you thought was possible, but now you have to remember who wrote what! This was by far the most difficult part. In panic mode, you forget everything and want to cite either Smith or Johnson for everything. Those are common names, right? They probably wrote something, right?

Once exams are over, you tend to want to have an emotional purge, but really, you end up sleeping for about 20 hours. It wasn't until our first week back to classes (on the Monday following our last exam on Friday. No rest for those who voluntarily do grad school.) that you find out that you will not know your grades until March, and that they are only "probationary" grades until April. Our next exams are in May. There are apparently ethics meetings about the exam grades, each professor must grade their own and another professors, and additionally, the exams are then sent to another UK university to grade. Three people grade your exam. Not intimidating at all!

I must say, no matter what happens, I did my best and I feel pretty accomplished about these exams, even if they did give me stress I've never felt before in my life.

Just so you understand the exam halls, here are photos of the seating arrangements and what you're allowed to bring.  Please excuse the shaky photos. Nerves mixed with no cell phones allowed.

All of the Lights - Happy Christmas

Christmas is over and I've made it through the holiday season without my family. I feel sad that I couldn't be home, but pretty proud of myself for making the most of where I am and taking advantage of what London has to offer during the season. It was quite a different holiday than I'm used to, but I feel like I still got that Christmas feeling. How can you not feel the spirit in London?

Christmas in London is a totally different thing than Christmas in the States. Don't get me wrong, I love the holiday season back home with all of the over-the-top light displays and Christmas activities, but in London, they do it a bit more elegantly. Specifically the Christmas lights. The pictures don't show just how amazing everything looks, but here's a peek into what a real British Christmas looks like. The photos are a mixture of some of my favorite Christmassy things I saw in London - Winter Wonderland, Oxford Street, and the Harrods window displays.

Happy Christmas xoxo

Thanksgiving in London

It's after midnight on Black Friday and I'm finally getting some down time after a long week. The last few weeks have been spent reading, studying, doing mock exams, freaking out over statistics (like, who really gets that stuff, right?), and generally being a full time student.

This week, though, I took a bit of time out of my student schedule to make my first Thanksgiving meal myself and celebrate my first Thanksgiving away from home. This post may be a bit sappy, which is a different turn from my usual, but hey, "if you can't tell the truth at [the holidays] then when can you?" (name that movie)

I was feeling a bit down at the beginning of the week as Thanksgiving was approaching. I realize that I've been so fortunate to be able to spend all of my holidays with my family until now and that the experience I am having here is the best thing, but it's still a bit hard to be away from home this time of year.

The funny part...
Now, even though I promised sap, this story starts out like a typical "Liz" story. In London, they don't really sell turkey like they do in the States. Especially at this time of year. That said, I ordered one online through Tesco to be delivered to me, frozen, on Tuesday evening after I would arrive back from class. I was Skyping with my parents and Grandma when the Tesco Man called letting me know he was downstairs. I quickly said goodbye and ran downstairs in slippers and without a coat.

When I got to the courtyard of my building, the Tesco Man was standing in the bushes (yes, like actually sort of in the bushes) in total darkness because of course the lights weren't working at a moment like this and just held out a crate to me. With his eyes, he told me to take the turkey out of the crate and handed me a receipt. The turkey was not in a bag. It was just a frozen turkey. Just like that.

I grabbed the turkey out of the crate, said thank you very quickly, and started to run back into the building because the block of ice turkey was starting to freeze to my skin. I am looking at the turkey in my arms as I run up 4 flights of stairs whisper yelling "it's so cold it's so cold it's so cold" and realize that this turkey is tiny. It's like a baby turkey. I cannot emphasize enough about how small this turkey looked to me at the time. It was small, but in my panic and frozen arms, it looked like it was no larger than a newborn baby bird.

To set the stage - I had ordered a turkey to feed 11-14 people (I had invited 12 to my dinner) and at this point in time, 20 people were now coming. How, I do not know. So I'm looking down at this infant turkey wondering how in the hell I'm going to feed 20 people when it looks like it would feed about 6 children. Spoiler alert - it was fine, but only in the sense that it was cooked perfectly and everyone got to taste it. We did not get full on turkey. See: making extra potatoes. 

The next hour is spent on Skype with my family cry-laughing and attempting to wrap the turkey in plastic bags to carry it down to a friend's fridge.

Back to sap...
On Wednesday, I baked a few pies and some cornbread with my friend Nora. She is from Germany and we haven't gotten to know each other too well yet. It was so nice to spend a few hours baking and talking with a new friend. We got to reflect on our own family traditions, talk about how we both think that London is amazing, and just generally girly things. It really got me in the holiday mood and with the smell of freshly baked pies and Christmas lights, I was feeling a bit better.

Thursday morning was again, a bit tough, but I had invited a small army to dinner, so onward I went! I made the obligatory "oops" trip to the grocery store to pick up the few things I was missing and then got cooking!

A few of my friends came over, Susana and Vicky, both from Spain, and helped me to prepare the small feast. I was able to Skype with my family again briefly and finished up the cooking at the time I actually planned to serve it! A THANKSGIVING MIRACLE.

We carried the food up to the top floor common room. Here's what it looked like.

And the turkey up close.

All in all, I made a turkey that (after a lot of man handling and a small freak out about the neck rolling around inside of it - this was discovered a long time after I pulled out the bag with the other insides) turned out great, sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping, mashed potatoes, cornbread, cranberry salad, green bean casserole, stuffing, pumpkin soup, roasted veggies, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, and even homemade gravy. I'm so proud of myself that I actually was able to pull this off! I've never before cooked for that many people and I've definitely never made a turkey. It was delicious!

Before we ate, I made everyone go around the table and say what they were thankful for. As there was only me and one other American, the "thankful" thing went a little over the top and we ended up applauding everyone after they spoke. It was actually really cute and I got all mushy feeling over it.

Even though the last few weeks have been oh so stressful (thanks, grad school), I'm still forever thankful for all of the things I've gotten to experience over the last few months and days like yesterday make me realize that this was the best decision of my life.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Fire Alarms and Lost Buses

Hello again! It's been a little while since I posted last, but unfortunately I got a bit of a cold after the last adventures I had and had some catching up to do with my classes.

Nothing much has happened in the last week and a half or so because classes are pretty intense right now. We're halfway through the semester already, which is totally crazy, and now we have what is called "Reading Week". It's a week we get during week 6 of each of our semesters to catch up on work, but of course our professors take the advantage to give us even more to do :)

That said, I thought I'd elaborate on a few funny things that keep happening to me in my day-to-day life here in London.

First, Fire Alarms. I realize these aren't a "London" thing, but honestly, they go off ALL THE TIME. They're extra sensitive to the point that your toaster will set it off even if you put it on the lowest setting, keep the window open, and practically fan the toast SMELL out of the window while it's crisping.

I have now evacuated every King's College building I've ever set foot in. They go off multiple times a week at all times of the day or night and it's required to evacuate. In one week alone, I evacuated my apartment three times, the library once (at 11:30pm), and the building where my classes were twice. But I suppose I can't count the classroom evacuation twice because one of the times I was in the cafe and got stuck behind the fire doors. I'll still count it, though.

The other funny part, is that they have gone off so many times falsely in our building that we were told not to evacuate unless they last more than 30 seconds. So, sometimes you're in bed, the shower, etc and you hear it so you start to get up, get one shoe on, and it stops. The current record for this is 10 times in one night - at midnight.

Second point of interest, the city buses. They are by far the quickest way to get places in a lot of situations as well as your only option if you want to travel anywhere after 11pm as the tube stops running after 11. Fun fact - they're called Night Buses. Like in Harry Potter. I know, right?

They're not purple and it's Night vs Knight, but still. 

Now, coming from Chicago, I didn't have a high bar for the buses here in London. And honestly, they are awesome in comparison because they have letters that correspond to where you get on and off and the bus drivers are actually helpful. That said, there are a few quirky things about the buses that one must learn before deciding to ride.

1. Don't get on a Hydrogen bus - odds are, if you're going more than 6 blocks, it will probably break down. I know they're trying to be environmental and I totally love that, but they don't work! You can tell it's about to break down too because the bus makes an unexpected turn onto a side street. The bus driver then insists that it will be back up and running if he can just kick it back into gear. I'm not sure if that's a technical term, but it involves a lot of key turning and the bus making that "errr errr err" sound. After a while, the bus driver will give up and tell you where the next stop is.

2. The routes are crazy. As I've mentioned before, Citymapper is the best app in the world and can get you anywhere at anytime. So, picture this, you get on a bus heading towards your destination and you sit down so that you can see both the sign that displays what stop is next and you have your phone out with Citymapper open so that you can follow the blue dot on the red line to make sure you know where to get off.

Then, this happens: 

Your first sign of trouble, the display switches to an asterisk instead of the next stop. 

Then, you look down at Citymapper and see this: 

Confirmed, you've been rerouted. 

There is never any notice given for a reroute and for some reason, no one else on the bus ever looks concerned, upset, or bothered in the least. I've also learned to accept this and somehow, it always gets back on track at some point and I make it to my destination. I still have absolutely no idea why this happens though, and I have set it as a goal to figure out the mystery of the reroutes. 

These odd things about London are part of the charm, even though it doesn't feel like it when the fire alarm is going off at 1am because someone wanted a toasted PB&J. 

Cheers! 

Sailsbury & Stonehenge, among other things

I've officially been here for a month. That's totally crazy! A few of us were just talking about it over tea (yes, we've all decided that we're super British and discuss things over tea) and we can't believe how fast this is going.

This past week was fairly standard as far as classes, etc went. The reading has somehow continued to multiply and someday I'll get used to it. On Sunday, though, I finally did something outside of London! Through a friend, I signed up for an all day trip that took us first to Sailsbury and then on to Stonehenge. Here's the recap.

We met at a hotel near St. Pancreas around 9am to get on 4 coach buses and drive to Sailsbury. We got there at about noon and had 3 hours to have lunch and explore. Our first stop was a little British pub that served very British dishes so I finally had my first real meal out. After lunch, we walked a few blocks to the famous Sailsbury Cathedral. It was amazing! I've seen a few Cathedrals here in London as well as some in France, but this one was definitely one of my favorites. There isn't a tour or an audio tour, so you can just wander through at your own pace and look at whatever interests you. Here are a few snaps of the afternoon spent at the cathedral.

Bunny ears have apparently just come to Europe. 

After we finished touring the cathedral, we got to see the Magna Carta, but since photos were not allowed, you can just picture the old piece of cow hid with very squished Latin written on it. It's pretty awesome that they still have it and that it's totally readable after so so so long. Fun fact: there are still 3 clauses that are still in use in the UK today. 

At about 3pm we all went back to the buses and took the short ride to Stonehenge. You have to get a shuttle up to the actual stones from the very modern looking cafe that they drop you off at. There is a guided audio tour for Stonehenge, but honestly, it was more fun trying to get all 6 of us in photos along the perimeter of Stonehenge so we didn't really use the audio guides that much. We did, however, manage to take nearly 50 selfies that only cut out most of us about half the time. Success! 

It was pretty rainy by the time we got to Stonehenge, but it really set the stage. Here are a few photos! 

Sighted! 

 The far side - you can sort of see the circular ditches around it. 

 Oh man - it's looking pretty impressive now.

 I'm here! 

The selfie that took 1000 years - we sort of did it! 

Overall, it was a pretty great trip. Even though I lost a day of studying, it was worth it and I'm so glad I got to see some pretty famous things. 

Now, the weekly list of favorite things: 

- Sailsbury & Stonehenge 

- Single person portioned food at the grocery store 

- The classic London weather (I'm still enjoying it for now!) 

- The cobblestone streets that are just normal streets 

Cheers! 

Week 3 - Lizzing London

Grad school is hard. I mean, I know that's pretty obvious, but until you get into it you don't really think about it that much. I give props to anyone who does this while working / being a parent / doing anything else because of the sheer amount of reading and work that needs to be done!

Classes are going well so far and I'm enjoying the content, but honestly, they all sort of blend together a bit. I have all of my classes on Mondays and Tuesdays (That's 6 hours straight each day) so by Tuesday night (right now) my brain feels like it's seeping out my ears. Quite the image, right?

I had a meeting with my "tutor" today and I felt so much better about things after that meeting. At King's each student is assigned a personal tutor for the year. They are a professor who is teaching one of your classes during the year and is someone you can go to for advice, help, questions on material, and potentially as references after the program is complete. This is something that I think King's does really well - and I know it sounds like I'm sponsoring them now, but really, this is pretty awesome. It's basically someone to say "Yep, stuff is really hard and it's only going to get harder and there is a ton of reading, but honestly, if you didn't think it was hard we wouldn't be doing it right". Pretty relieving!

Aside from school, I have had more of a chance to enjoy being in London lately since I've gotten a better handle on my schedule and how to plan my days. Since I have somehow lucked out and gotten two days of classes, that means that I have five day weekends. European weeks? I wish.

Last Friday, I went on a night bus tour that was set up by the building I live in. Not much to say here aside from - wow, my city is amazingly beautiful.

Some of my coworkers from my office in Chicago were here last week and it was SO NICE to see familiar faces and just generally hang with people who already know me. I didn't have to be as on my game as with my friends from school. (We're still new and in the "please like me, I'm making good impressions" phase of our friendships). We went to the Borough Market, walked around Kensington Gardens, and went on our own little pub crawl in Queen's Park with some friends from the London office. It was awesome. And super London-y because it rained the whole time. For what it's worth - my raincoat is perfect.

Weekly list of my favorite things right now:

- Getting the front seat on the top level of the bus. See the Shard? I live right next to it. Ah!

- Indian food is literally amazing here. All of it. Anywhere. Even the frozen meals.
- CityMapper app. It is on the list again because I couldn't live without it.
- Having a "regular spot" at the library where I meet my friends.
- The fox in the courtyard now has a name. Foxy. Really original.
- Making a breakthrough in my flat. If you know me well, you'll already know this story.
- I'm rubbish (see see!) at taking care of plants. I think. Unless it's supposed to look like this:

Thing I learned to fear this week - flying daddy long legs. Yes, these are real. They are just like those spiders in the U.S. that have super small bodies and really long, thin legs and are totally creepy BUT THEY FLY HERE. I would have a photo of this, but in moment of sheer panic, you tend to forget all about capturing moments. They come in your window when you least expect it and the next thing you know you have a boot on each hand and you're jumping around your room yelling "I've aggravated it!!" Don't ask me how I know this.

Cheers!