Sunday, January 18, 2015

I Survived: Exams

I think I've finally fully recovered from my first round of grad school exams. I can now return to both society and my human life.

You think those exams you took in undergrad were tough? Stressful? Anxiety inducing? They were. So now take those and multiply them by about 100000 and you'll get a sense of how my exams were.

Last week feels like it was yesterday and an eternity ago all at the same time. For the weeks leading up to them I was studying and worrying and thinking, "I'm worried, but I'll be fine". The two weeks before I basically lived in the library and became all too intimate with the woman who cleaned the private study rooms. I also somehow went a whole month without wearing real pants. Separate accomplishment.

So as to not make this post insanely long, I've devised a list to help me properly describe what taking master's exams is like here in London. Now, I'm not sure if it's like this other places in Europe or if King's enjoys a specific type of torture, but my experience has been scarring.

The Basics: 4 exams in 5 days on topics so vague you might not even recognize them as topics. See: Management.

Location: Kensington-Olympia Conference Center

Travel Time to Location: 1-3 hours, depending on how well you understand what the tube is doing. LOLOLOLOL

Things you can bring: Nothing. They barely allow people to actually be there.

Procedure: Mostly shuffling around in a giant conference center with 2000 other anxious people and not enough bathrooms until you get to sit in a giant room at a very wobbly t.v. tray in a plastic folding chair.

Governing Forces: Invigilators. They have clipboards and yellow traffic vests. Do. Not. Mess. With. Them.

Announcer: God. I call him this because he sets the rules, the tone, and is a bodiless being that speaks constantly.

Amenities: Areas of the floor to throw your coat. Also, partially working bathrooms. Sometimes.

Population: 2000 people attempting not to have uncontrolled bodily functions happen due to nerves.

Now, I may be making this sound intimidating. Good! I'm getting my point across! But really, on the way there the first day I was with my friend and fellow classmate and she commented on how quiet I was. I responded saying that I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, instead of words, it would be vomit. Quite an image I've painted for your there, huh?

These exams were absolutely the hardest most difficult and challenging thing I've ever done. I've never studied more and felt less sure about anything in my life before. You cover 3 months worth of material in class and then have to guess what the best topics would be to study. All of the exams are essay questions and you do not know what is actually on the exam until you're sitting in your seat and God tells you that you can begin and flip over the paper.

The essays are supposed to be well thought out, answer the question, and develop conclusions based on what you know. They also expect the essay to be structured well and you must cite references. Yes it's not enough that you crammed more information about Agency Theory and cultural and institutional issues relating to globalization into your brain than you thought was possible, but now you have to remember who wrote what! This was by far the most difficult part. In panic mode, you forget everything and want to cite either Smith or Johnson for everything. Those are common names, right? They probably wrote something, right?

Once exams are over, you tend to want to have an emotional purge, but really, you end up sleeping for about 20 hours. It wasn't until our first week back to classes (on the Monday following our last exam on Friday. No rest for those who voluntarily do grad school.) that you find out that you will not know your grades until March, and that they are only "probationary" grades until April. Our next exams are in May. There are apparently ethics meetings about the exam grades, each professor must grade their own and another professors, and additionally, the exams are then sent to another UK university to grade. Three people grade your exam. Not intimidating at all!

I must say, no matter what happens, I did my best and I feel pretty accomplished about these exams, even if they did give me stress I've never felt before in my life.

Just so you understand the exam halls, here are photos of the seating arrangements and what you're allowed to bring.  Please excuse the shaky photos. Nerves mixed with no cell phones allowed.